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Sometimes as a SAHM you Have to Lower your Expectations

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I have now been a stay at home mom for over 3 years. I have two kids Adella who just turned 3 and Delta who is almost 1 and a half. I have had so many ups and downs I could be the stocks. Sometimes you just have to lower your expectations.

Sometimes as a parent you have to lower your expectations to be a better in the moment parent and that is okay. If your housework isn't done, or you are eating chicken nuggets for supper it is okay! You are winning! Being a parent is hard. #sahm #parenting

Sometimes as a SAHM you Have to Lower your Expectations

I’m not here to say give up on life because that would just be dramatic and we are better than that, but my greatest saver of sanity has been lowering my expectations.

Not of my kids but of myself. I have always been a terrible housewife and I can’t stand to clean. I would much rather play with the kids, bake, or do nothing. To be honest.

Related Post: I’m a terrible housewife

What causes me stress and anxiety?

For some not having things in order and clean causes them some stress and anxiety that is not the case for me. For me the stress comes in to play when I am trying to do something and the kids need me and I don’t get to finish what I started.

I can be a procrastinator so when I start I want to finish or I know it may not happen. Now, this has caused me to become irritated with the kids and frankly angry at the world. Then everything kind of spirals down hill from there and my whole day is ruined.

It is dramatic but so true.

How have I helped myself overcome the stress?

Lower my expectations!!! For real. If I don’t expect to finish my project, or have something cleaned up then I can’t be mad when it doesn’t happen. I have been canning this summer and fall and if you have ever canned you know it can be time consuming. From washing produce to making your food and then the canning process.

I have fallen in love with it and frankly I’m addicted to canning. But with 2 toddlers around getting hours to work on one task just won’t happen.

I wish I would have switched my way of thinking sooner, but now that I have we are all happier. And guess what my canning is still getting done, just at a much slower pace.

Need a good look at my real life house situation while trying to peel some tomatoes? Check out my video below.

How do I lower my expectations?

I simply remind myself that my kids are number 1! Always and forever. What I want or feel like I need to do just doesn’t matter as much as my kids.

What I want or feel needs to get done just doesn’t matter as much. In a nutshell I was be selfish.  While that is not always a bad thing because you need that mommy time, the kids do still come first. They need to know that you will be there no matter what you have going on.

 Related Post? My biggest regret as a parent

For me I do canning in stages and that just has to work me. I also don’t stress over the state of my house. If there is food on the floor, well my dog can get that! HAHA If there is laundry to do I don’t stress over it. I empty and load the dishwasher ever night.

Has lowering my expectations helped?

Oh heavens yes! I feel so much more mellow and go with the flow which is how I want to be. I want to calm and willing to sit and play at a whim even if I am in the middle of something.

Related Post: Why you need to stop scheduling life

I can now say okay this will just go in the fridge and when I get a free moment I will just be back at it. This mentality has allowed me to be less stressed and still get things done. I can not share enough how incredible it has been to my relationship with my girls and my own ability to relieve stress.

Areas you can lower your expectations:

  • Meal time: you don’t need a 5 course meal every night
  • Laundry: If you pick your undies out of a basket for a week no one will know!
  • Cleaning: Honestly does it matter to your kids or would they rather play with you?
  • Yard work: If your garden is over grown with weeds it is okay and your plants will do just fine!!!
  • Blogging: This one is hard especially when I get close to finishing a post
  • Craft projects: Any real crafty will tell you they have a closet of half done projects

Have you lowered any or your expectations to have a less stressful life? Has it worked for your family?

Need more destressing tactics? Check out my 30 days to declutter

The Mum Conundrum

 

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6 Comments

  1. Love this, I suffer from really bad anxiety because I have such high expectations of myself. It’s always important to remember that our children are number 1. #itsok

    1. becomingschultz says:

      The anxiety is so bad. It really has helped me to take a deep breath and evaluate what is the most important thing in that moment. Will I care in a year if I did the dishes? Nope, so I will let go! Let it go!

  2. I lowered them all when I had my first baby – everything fell by the wayside and now, 7 years on I’m just starting to pick up the pieces! I don’t regret a thing though as my kids had my full attention as much as I could give it to them. Sod everything else! #itsok

    1. becomingschultz says:

      With my first I struggled and my SO told me you are doing the most important thing. And he was right. I dropped so many things and have slowly picked up the pieces but I will never regret snuggling for every nap and enjoying every moment.

  3. Oooh I love this!! It’s so important to let go of some things, otherwise you can drive yourself nuts. I have three kids and a messy house, and since I accepted this, life has been so much easier! A perfect post for the #ItsOK linky, thanks for adding it xx

    1. becomingschultz says:

      Thank you! It can be so hard when society pushes moms to be the do alls but reality is we can’t! Happy children is what should be number 1!

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