Thought high school was rough?
Making mommy friends is SO incredibly hard!
I was so excited to have the chance to stay home when I had my oldest 2.5 years ago, but I quickly felt isolated and lonely. I would go to the store just to talk to an adult… well I still do that. Ha Ha. I tried to connect with old friends from school who also now have kids, but it just didn’t work. They worked and then when they were home they just wanted to be with their family. Of course that’s understandable, but I was alone all day.
Put yourself out there
I found a MOPS group and started going immediately (it’s an international group so start looking), and I thought oh yes I’ll make friends and we will hangout every week and they will understand me! Yeah, that didn’t happen. Turns out in the months away from people and the change that happens to a person who becomes a parent made me awkward, like real awkward.
One day I ran in to a sweet mom with a little boy close to the same age as my oldest and he was in a cloth diaper! As a cloth diapering momma I was like “YES” an easy segue way into conversation. So we got talking and she invited me in to a local Facebook group of like minded mommas (turns out someone had already added me) and I was again hopeful.
Shortly after this Lucas started a new job working second shift which meant he slept all day and worked all night and I was just alone!
This local mom group got together a few weeks later and it was so much fun! We had snacks and our kids played and we got to talk and it was magical! I felt confident that we would all be the best of friends! Months went by and we messaged each other but never got together again.
A few of us were pregnant, myself included, and life just kinda got away from us. I got together with one of the moms and a few of us go together to sew or go to a pumpkin patch, but I was still missing that feeling of a tribe. I wanted that community feeling!
I started to wonder was this just a lost hope? Did this only happen in fairy tails? Was I meant to just be lonely? Could I find my mommy friends?
I would go to the park and events, and while I wanted my daughter to have fun I also hoped I would meet someone that it would just click with. Someone who could come over to my messy house, not judge me, drink coffee while I fold laundry and just talk. Just someone to enjoy a few hours with! Was I asking too much? Was I crazy to think it was possible?
A Glimmer of Hope
Well that local Facebook group of friends decided we needed a craft day once a month just to get some time without having to entertain the kids to get something done! We meet once a month for those “craft days” I use quotes because we never really do anything but eat, drink coffee and tea, and chat! It is seriously the most amazing day! We do park meetups and such in between as well and I finally feel like I found it. We breastfeed, cloth diaper, garden, love nature, and we just fit together! I found my tribe, my women who don’t judge because my house is cluttered or my kids are naked, or I haven’t had the chance to get the food ready before they arrive. Women who get it! They stay home too, they all breastfeed, they struggle because their husbands work long, weird, crazy hours too! It is amazing!
So I guess what I am saying, is if you haven’t found your tribe, don’t give up! Don’t stop putting yourself out their because it hasn’t happened yet! I can’t tell you how amazing it is when it happens! So if you read this Anna, Kara, Noeha, and Karissa just know I can’t thank you ladies enough for the impact you have had on my mental health and I value your friendship more than any other. Keep looking for your mommy friends!
Tales From Mamaville