Being a stay at home mom is so hard and no matter how much you try every day won’t go perfect. Once you realize that you will feel much less stress about how your day looks.
For me that meant dropping the schedule and learning how to relax and calm down.
Stop Scheduling Life: The Calmer Home
As a stay at home mom I have the chance to start my day when I want and to end it as I please. Well when the kids decided but I don’t really have to do anything besides change and feed them!
Due to this we have decided not use a schedule especial during the first year. There are many reasons that we have decided to go this route and have gone as far as dropping bed time! SAY WHAT!
I know, I know what your thinking, I’ve done lost my noodle. I have so much less stress since we said good bye to bed time. My oldest is usually ready for bed by 8, but the youngest it is hit or miss and I have had to just let it go in order to save my own sanity!
Breastfeeding on Demand
As a breastfeeding mom who does not offer a bottle at all feeding on demand is key to keep my supply and keep baby happy. It is easy to just follow the cues of your baby and feed as they need it and not every 2 hours. This can be exhausting during growth spurts and Wonder Weeks as cluster feeding can last hours and only offer short breaks before an hour of nursing again.
In order to reduce the stress that making plans and then not being able to keep those plans causes me. I quickly learned after having Adella that nursing was going to cut into so much of my day and trying to make things happen and to have her upset gave me so much stress and increased my anxiety. I put cleaning and everything else on the back burner and just care for the babies.
Related Post: Sometimes as a SAHM you have to lower your expectations
I worked in a daycare for 2 years and we had a strict schedule for everything from when we went outside to when diapers were changed. It worked wonders and I thought “oh I’ll just do that in my home”. Yeah when you have a baby who wants to nurse every hour and just wants to be held a schedule is impossible. I would clean and any time Adella would start crying during my cleaning time I got so frustrated and would feel defeated.
I tried one day to just relax and snuggle and clean when Adella was calm playing or okay with being in the carrier. That day was so relaxing I tried for a week and while my house wasn’t as clean and laundry needed to be folded I was happy and so was Adella. When Delta was born I knew even getting out of the house was going to take longer and by lowering my expectations I was a calmer and much happier person.
It is so freeing to not have to stress when we leave the house because nap time is coming up or baby is going to need to be feed. I simply nurse before we leave home and if they fall asleep in the car then I drive around a little.
I might even take advantage and get some food and ice cream because eating hot food and ice cream is a TREAT! If we don’t eat dinner till 8 pm because we were playing or someone napped till 7 then that is what we do. Just going with the flow has saved my sanity!
Just this last weekend it was 10 pm, both kids were till up and I saw that a town 15 minutes away was going to have fireworks at 10:30, so guess what we all got dressed loaded in the car with snacks and a blanket and we were off. On a whim no stress, and man was it so much fun!
It may not work for everyone as I know there are people who need there structure but my family is far from that and it works great for us!! Being a clam parent has been so important in our family and this is just one more way that we can achieve that!
And you know what some days we just snuggle all day long or most of the day and I don’t have to stress about that. It is okay if I don’t get everything done!
This means dinner is when ever we stop playing enough for me to make food, and whenever the kids decide they are hungry. I also include them in what we are having so I know it is something that sounds good to them.
This may seem weird to some of you, but honestly if I am not in the mood for what someone else is cooking I am not going to eat it and if I do it won’t be much. I feel like kids can be the same way.
Just because they liked it and ate two helpings last week doesn’t mean that it sounds good to them today. So I ask and get an idea on what they want.
If this means we are eating cereal for supper with banana or a sandwich then so be it. It is just me and the kids and shoot it’s a win if they eat! I mean what if I made spaghetti, salad, and garlic bread and all they ate was some noodles and garlic bread. It would have been no healthier and I would have been irritated with making it all and then having them not eat it.
I am all about making my own life easier! Some days the 3 year old asks for chicken and beans and broccoli, some days she wants frozen peas and blackberries. At least I know she is making great choices.
What do I do if she ask for sweets? I tell her we have to eat real food first and then we can have a treat!
This falls great in with cooking with children.
Have you tried to just go with the flow? What works for your family?